No fancy blog titles here, just some real reflection from my trip to Auschwitz whilst in Poland. I booked a tour to go and visit Auschwitz-Birkenau as when I was reading up about visiting, lots of people were saying it’s a bit of a mission to try and do it on your own, with it being around 1.5 hours out of the main city and over two separate spaces. Tours don’t usually appeal to me because I worry I will never get the time I want and to explore at my own pace and where I want to, when I want to, but I booked it anyway. We made our way out of Kraków for the day, despite the weather, ready for a history adventure, one that I’ve been wanting to do for years.

As part of this trip we visited two of the camps, Auschwitz I & Auschwitz II Birkenau. first up was Auschwitz I, this is where most of the museums were containing a lot of the history and real remains from those who were sent (and mostly died) here. The famous gates were the first part of the tour, as soon as I saw them I had goosebumps and everything turned dark and slightly eerie. The gates say ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’, which translates to ‘work sets you free’, those sent here believed they were being sent to work camps, not to their death.

As soon as you passed the gates you started seeing the sheer number of the blocks that were inside. Some of the blocks and the insides had been renovated to house some of the history as part of the museums, the first block we went into largely contained pictures and information which painted a picture of what we were about to see and experience at both Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II Birkenau. Some of the facts were truly horrifying, one which has stuck with me since is that most people didn’t survive longer than 3-6 months after entering.

The next blocks we went into is where it got really real. You could take photos in some of the blocks but not all, but I was so immersed in what was surrounding me that I really didn’t take many photos at all. It truly was harrowing. The first room we went into had around 2 tonnes of human hair in it behind a pane of glass. I instantly felt my stomach go, realising that this was reality for those individuals. One of the next rooms contained prosthetics from individuals, another contained two sides wall-to-wall of shoes, with a separate room containing items belonging to children, which probably caused the most upset. One of the final rooms had lots of individuals suitcases in, some named, again, something that will visually sit with me. There were also some Jewish Prayer Shawls, some of the garments worn by individuals whilst there, glasses of those held there, and other bits too.

I’ve never felt emotions like it, it was something different. I’ve read lots about it and had an interest in finding out more, but being there in the flesh hit me like a tonne of bricks. The next block that we went into was a prism or block, you couldn’t take photos in here but seeing some of the various cells really just showed the heinous conditions these individuals were living in. Some of the cells were standing only and were probably only 1m2, others were starvation cells, and others were poor condition. After visiting the cells we did the walk that prisoners would take as their final steps to execution, again, something will just sit with me.

Some of the final blocks we saw were hospital blocks, there was around 4 in total, but what was interesting about these hospital blocks was that they didn’t contain medicine, and that actually they were more there for experimentation on individuals, where they would be manually contracted with medical conditions to see their response to it, and eventually, would lead to their death. Another saddening part of this was the medical trials done particularly on children, and even more so, on twins. The whole visit was really poignant and gave a lot of opportunity to reflect, and think about what happened, really not that long ago when I think about it.

The final stop at Auschwitz I was through a little made walkway towards one of the gas chambers… and through it. I think this is one of the bits that has really taken me back. It was explained what was in the chambers at different stages right at the start so that silence could be observed whilst walking through. Once inside, it was dark, it was cold, it was silent, it was sad. It’s something I never thought I’d have the chance or opportunity to do and even though it was hard, and a lot to absorb, something that I’m really grateful to have had the chance to do and see with my own eyes, through my lens.

Next stop was Auschwitz II Birkenau. Again, the first sight we saw was the train tracks that brought people here and it looked exactly like all the pictures I had seen previously. The weather was dreary and the really added to the atmosphere of what we was experiencing. At Auschwitz I, I learnt about the train tracks and people’s arrival here, the poor conditions that they were transported in, that some individuals died whilst in transit, and that others who made it, were visually selected as soon as they stepped off the train. Men and women were segregated and those deemed fit enough to work (based on a max. 30 second visual check) were registered, and those not, sent straight to the gas chambers. Women and children mainly. Those that were registered were then given a number.

There wasn’t any museums here, it was all outside, except for being able to enter one of the buildings where people were kept whilst they were here. This was eerie. When we stepped inside it was really dark, there was no real natural light and the conditions were horrendous. It was wall-to-wall of 3 levelled bunks made of stone and wood where people would be kept, and most of the time couldn’t leave due to ending up so weak. Often cold, damp, humid, smelly, I can’t imagine how this could have been for individuals. Here the buildings went on for what seems like miles. I couldn’t see an end to the buildings and ruins, it just didn’t end, it reminded me of the sheer size of this mass extermination and how truly horrific it was.

We got to see some of the memorials which was interesting to learn about, along with the ruins and remains of one of the gas chambers that was blown up. Though it was largely rubble on the ground you could still clearly see where the different sections were, the first where individuals would be told they’re going for a shower and would get undressed, the second part where it was the gas chamber and the third part where the furnaces and crematorium were. It was truly a once in a lifetime experience to see and witness all of this.

A day like no other and one that will live with me for a very long time, I can’t believe how much I’ve learnt and can share with others about the trauma of this history. I knew that whenever I made to it Poland on my travels that this would be number one on my list and I’m so glad it was. It wasn’t necessarily an experience that is a fun day out, but one that allows for some real, honest, deep reflection about history of these locations and what happened. I’m so glad I went.